Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Bittersweet Aspirations

        Lately, It seems that my life is becoming a huge mess, especially in my head. I am starting to question my college career path and if I should continue with my current major because everyone around me seems to believe that I am not cut out for what I am most passionate for. I know I should do whatever makes me happy and not listen to them but all those negative comments and feedback are starting to get to me like they never have before. I want to be happy and also make my family happy but it seems impossible at this point in my life. Do not get me wrong, my family is great but it just seems that they have switched their once encouraging role when I first began college to a questioning role and wondering what kind of jobs and careers are out there for me after college is over. 
       I am also planning on studying abroad in February 2013-June 2013 and it is going to cost between $9,000-$10,000 for one semester and I have no clue where that extra money is going to come from. Studying abroad is a necessity for me to become fluent and my parents do not see it as a necessity, they see it as a desire for me but not something that is crucial to my career. Obviously it is because that is the only way for me to become fluent is to interact with the culture through the people and actually live among the native speakers of the country. My parents see it as a waste of money anyways as it is. To me that shows they have no support for my passion and what I want to do. My parents have been there for me my entire life and it just sucks that now is the time where if feels like they have no hope for me. I try to talk it over with them but they are already set on what they believe to be true and right. They keep coaxing me to find other ways to become fluent here in our area and that is definitely not possible because no one around here speaks fluent French on a daily basis. Spanish, yes that is a bit easier but French is not a needed language anywhere near the southeast. It sucks because that is what I am passionate about but everyone keeps questioning my motives and what I can do with it. I know what I want to do and I guess I just have to take my own path to happiness and coax myself through college and hopefully I will get to a point where I do not care what anybody says or thinks about what I want to  do in life as a career.